Abuse of Power in the Workplace | Power Dynamics and Exploitation

Abuse of power in the workplace happens more often than many may think—but if you’re a woman who’s experienced the downside of workplace power dynamics, you know just how real it can be. 

Power dynamics exist in every workplace. These dynamics can range from hierarchical relationships between employees and managers to informal influences among colleagues. 

In some cases, these professional relationships may even turn romantic—adding another complex layer to this dynamic.

While power can be used responsibly to lead, inspire, or support, it can also be misused, leading to exploitation and harm. Understanding power dynamics and identifying an abuse of power—especially in cases where men misuse their power over women—is essential for fostering a healthy, equitable environment at work. 

It’s also crucial for protecting your peace.

My experience lasted 7 years. I have also experienced abuse of power on other scales that didn’t trap me in the same ways but were equally wrong. It took me years before I could look back and see the many encounters I had that were simply not right. 

In this post we’ll explore what abuse of power is and how it impacts women at work. 

What Is Abuse of Power?

What’s the difference between using power and abusing it? Abuse of power occurs when someone in a position of authority or influence exploits their role or influence (eg. age) for personal gain. This can manifest in overt ways, such as bullying or harassment, or more subtly through favouritism, micromanagement, incentivising or withholding resources. 

Regardless of its form, an abuse of power undermines trust, morale, and the well-being of employees. If you’re in a relationship with the person abusing their power, the outcomes can be even more extreme. It’s not uncommon to experience anxiety, confusion, and other complex emotions if you’re also dating your boss (or having a secret relationship or affair with your boss).

Who typically abuses power at work, and why does it happen?

Many women could share anecdotal stories about how power imbalances at work have negatively impacted them—including me.

But here’s what the research says: Current research indicates that men are more likely to engage in workplace bullying and harassment. According to the Workplace Bullying Institute’s 2007 survey, 60% of bullies are men, and when the bully is a woman, her target is more likely to be a woman as well (71%). Additionally, the survey found that 57% of those who reported being targeted for abuse were women.

A study published in the journal Gender, Work & Organization found that women in most countries are more likely than men to perceive workplace harassment. This likelihood is higher in countries that score favorably on gender equality measures, suggesting that political empowerment and better economic opportunities may alter women’s perceptions of workplace harassment.

These findings suggest that men are more likely to abuse power in the workplace, contributing to a higher incidence of bullying and harassment against women.

Are there systems in place allowing this to happen? In some cases, yes. Several factors contribute to the abuse of power in the workplace, including:

• Lack of Accountability: When leaders operate without oversight, they may feel emboldened to misuse their authority. Not being called out on their bad behaviour only increases their confidence to continue it.
• Workplace Culture: A culture that prioritizes profit over people can breed toxic behaviors. There may also be a degree of favouritism towards the person in power. However unfair, this can directly impact the perspective of others as this person abuses their power over you.
• Fear of Retaliation: Rather than favouritism or admiration clouding judgement in the workplace, this factor is based in fear. Employees may hesitate to speak up about exploitation, fearing job loss or other repercussions.
• Implicit Bias: An implicit bias is a negative attitude one is not consciously aware of. This includes unconscious gender bias, which can stem from traditions, norms, values, culture and/or experience.

Any one of these factors can influence a woman’s experience in the workplace. If you’re in a relationship or an affair with your boss, you may be offered a level of protection against these factors.

However, if the relationship becomes unstable, you may be worried about how your boss could use their authority in ways that negatively impact your workplace experience—more on this coming up in the blog soon.

Examples of Power Dynamic Abuse in the Workplace

Here’s what an unequal power dynamic between a man and woman can look like at work when the man abuses his power:

• Using fear or intimidation: Male supervisors may use their authority to silence women or control their actions, creating an environment of fear. They may use coercive control, such as using an act or pattern of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation to harm, punish, or frighten you.
• Unequal treatment: Targeting women for unfair criticism, punitive measures, or dismissal based on gender biases.
• Sexual harassment: Male superiors or colleagues exploiting their positions to make unwanted advances or demands, crossing the professional boundaries they are expected to uphold.
• Hostile work environment: Creating a toxic culture through discriminatory remarks, objectifying behaviour, or isolating women who speak out.
• Favouring male colleagues: Providing opportunities, raises, or promotions to male employees over equally or more qualified women.
• Sidelining women: Excluding women from important meetings, projects, or decision-making processes.
• Taking credit for her work: Men in leadership positions may exploit the efforts of female employees by claiming their ideas or accomplishments as their own.
• Withholding resources: Restricting access to critical information, opportunities, or mentorship to impede women’s professional growth.
• Emotional manipulation: Using guilt, gaslighting, or coercion—especially if there is also a romantic relationship at play.
• Compensation issues: Allocating unequal pay or denying fair compensation to female employees.

Grooming in the Workplace

Grooming in the workplace can feel like special attention, extra support, or mentorship from someone in power. It often starts with kindness—praise, small favours, or personal conversations that make you feel valued and chosen. But over time, the lines blur, and what once felt like care can turn into control. 

Subtle comments, lingering touches, or conversations that become more personal and suggestive can slowly sexualise the relationship, making it harder to see the imbalance until you feel obligated or trapped.

Workplace Affairs and Relationships

Romantic or sexual relationships between individuals with unequal power can significantly disrupt workplace dynamics. When a person in a position of authority becomes involved with a subordinate, the lines between professional and personal boundaries blur.

These situations can foster resentment among colleagues, compromise the subordinate’s autonomy, and perpetuate an environment where others may feel pressured to conform. Additionally, such relationships can make it challenging to address power imbalances, as personal ties may exacerbate unethical behaviors.

“I’m dating my boss. What should I do?”

When you get involved with a coworker or superior, the excitement can be enticing. There can also be a feeling of safety and being looked after by someone in a leadership position. At the same time, there can also be a level of fear—especially as the relationship develops. If the relationship doesn’t work out, will your job be in jeopardy? Will you lose their love and respect and be treated differently if you’re not his romantic partner anymore? These questions can keep you stuck in a relationship at work even after you feel like it’s time for it to end.

The Impact of Power Abuse at Work

Abuse of power can have serious consequences in the personal and professional lives of women. Some of these impacts include:

Mental Health Issues: If you’ve been through this, you know that every day, you have to return to the place where you’ve felt taken advantage of. It’s no surprise that women subjected to power abuse often experience stress, anxiety, depression, and burnout. 

Decreased Productivity: A toxic work environment stifles creativity and motivation, leading to lower performance. Work performance may also suffer due to the mental health issues associated with power abuse.

Pressure to find new employment: If you’ve been exploited or mistreated at work, there’s a high likelihood you’ll feel the pressure to move on. This means taking on the burden of finding new employment—while struggling with burnout in your current role. 

Reputation damage: Your toxic work relationships and experiences can deeply influence your self-perception. You may feel like your reputation is tarnished, or feel unhirable at another company. If you had any inappropriate interactions at work, romantic or sexual, you may also feel weighed down by guilt and shame.

Fear of losing everything: If things started off on a high, and now the highs aren’t outweighing the lows, you may feel like you need to break away from the person who was once someone you trusted as well as break away from the workplace. This can feel like you have to leave your whole sense of stability and comfort—your job and the person who was caring for you the most. 

It can feel painful but trust me, you are worth so much more than to be treated poorly by another in your place of work. 

Find Support After an Abuse of Power Experience

Having gone through my own experience with workplace abuse, I understand what a dark time it can be. But through that darkness, I found the light—and the strength I needed to rise. Now, I use my story to help others find their voice, their courage, and their way back to themselves.

Recovering from an abuse of power experience can feel isolating, and that’s why connecting with support is so important. 

Finding the right support can be transformative, and one of the most effective ways you can support yourself is by connecting with a community of women who have faced similar challenges.

Our private community of women provides a safe space to share stories, validate experiences, and offer mutual encouragement. Talking with others who understand your journey can help you regain confidence, rebuild trust in your abilities, and find new perspectives on how to move forward.

In addition to community support, you can also consider joining advocacy groups or attending workshops focused on empowerment and self-advocacy can also help you reclaim your voice and strength. 

Remember, healing is a process, and you don’t have to go through it alone—there is power in solidarity.

Know the Signs of Abuse of Power at Work

An abuse of power at work can have profound and lasting effects on women. By acknowledging the unique challenges women face, addressing systemic power imbalances, and promoting equity and accountability, we can create environments where women feel respected and empowered. 

If you’ve ever experienced unfair treatment as a result of workplace power dynamics, you deserve to process and heal from all that you’ve been through. 

The first step begins by stepping out from secrecy and shame, and I’m here to help you through it. Let’s connect on a call so I can hear a bit of your story and share some suggestions for next steps.

The door is open when you’re ready.